Town Crier No 315

Country people

I salute you once more after two weeks of silence. Circumstances beyond my control made it impossible for me to address you last week. And as you can guess I have a lot to gist you about. I will begin with this question which has been boggling the minds of virtually all Cameroonians: Where is Mama Chantoux? Don’t ask me what business I have with somebody’s kofngom. Mama Chantoux was or is not only Popoul’s kofngom; she is the mother of the nation just like Winnie Mandela was to South Africa. So where is she? Scandals tongue has been wagging. Some say she is in yankeeland, Obama’s country and still others, that she fell from a horse and is on crutches. There is also this allegation that she is in France assisting her mum who is sick. I don’t want to ask if she is a doctor or a nurse because all kofngoms are natural nurses. The wildest rumour is that she is pregnant. If she is, what is wrong with that? We need more children to replace those dying of HIV/AIDS, hunger and general hardship. Pregnancy is a source of pride of every woman. When she was pregnant for Junior and Brenda, she proudly displayed her tommy in public. Even if she is pregnant for someone else, what is mighty wrong with that? A child is a child. Afterall, did she not have twins with someone else before she met Popoul? Popoul’s silence on the whole issue boils down to impunity and taking Cameroonians for granted not bothering about how they feel. This is a woman who ran a foundation that helped children, the destitute et al. She owned the circle of friends of Cameroon, although I wonder how Cameroonians can be friends of Cameroon. She ran a synergy for AIDS in all Africa. In short, a generally loved person who won the admiration of the United Nations, reason why she was honoured with the prestigious title “Ambassador of Goodwill”. The very contrast of the uninspiring Linda Yang who now replaces her at CERAC since May 20, 2012. She has not been seen in public. And this is a lady who proudly accompanied her husband during all exciting outings especially in Switzerland and France. Is she is angry because Popoul is no longer going to Europe? Now Popoul is heading to Congo without her. I am surprised he is even going. I am saying so because he hardly attends international summits. Like the recent AU Summit in Addis Ababa. That was the summit that saw his friend, Jean Ping ousted as President of the AU commission. He however demonstrated sportsmanship qualities by sending a congratulatory message to Nkosa Zuma, estranged wife of Jacob Zuma, South African President who won. Jacob Zuma! That guy is a real he-goat. Too many women and divorcing some. Popoul boycotted another Africa-China summit. Although meant for Finance Ministers, African leaders were interested. These are really hard times for Popoul, country people. The man is left with no option than to increase the price of petrol to 700 FCFA per litre. That is very risky. You remember what happened in 2008. The February riots. Already the North is like a key of sun powder waiting only for a match to be struck. A “C” delegation led by the very unimpressive Jean Nkuete was in Garouaq to try and calm tempers ahead of Marafa’s trial which begins in Yaounde tomorrow. But the people there have vowed not to listen to anything. They want Marafa and Haman Adama released. In a bid to calm tempers Popoul is contemplating the appointment of other equally popular Nordists. The names on many lips are Mohammadou Badjika Ahidjo, Bayeno Fadhil and the controversial Iya Mohammed. Meanwhile, the Marafa trial has effectively begun. You surely saw the mammoth crowd that turned out at the Mfoundi high court shouting “president! President!” referring to Marafa. He waved back at them smiling. The case promises to be exciting, especially with the prospect of SDF National Chairman, Ni John Fru Ndi in court. The trial will go on non-stop that is daily until judgment is imminent to contain the crowds. Nothing is being heard about Inoni. South West is very uncomfortable about his continued detention. They want him released as a precondition for participation in the golden jubilee celebration of Cameroon’s reunification.

Now the case of Titus Edzoa. What a trickster this Popoul surely is! What was the purpose of postponing the matter to June 30? The excuse by Justice Nomo Marie Zanga was that the college of judges had changed. But we understand that this is just a delay tactic to come up with fresh charges against him. The most disheartening is the case of Zacheus Forjindam. This is the person who championed the campaign for Popoul’s mandate to be extended. Today, he is not only in prison. An appeal intended to free him ahs instead resulted in life jail. What irony. Who said an Epervier victim can ever win an appeal case. Siyam Siewe who took an appeal against his 35 year jail term also got life jail. Talking about Epervier, ‘S’ which was most vocal against “C” calling “C” members Chop People Dem Money party should talk again. Tenoh Lawrence “S” mayor of Batibo imposed by John Ntarinkon is in Epervier’s dragnet. Tenoh stepped on many toes in Batibo, reason why Batibo people have been rejoicing over the arrest which took place last Wednesday night. Tenoh is not alone; the mayors of Mbengwi, Babessi, Balikumbat, Ndop are in the same pot of soup. Those who chop alone should fight alone. Glory be to God on high and on earth, peace to men of goodwill. Embezzlers are people of bad faith. Therefore, no peace for them. Peace to Moslem faithfuls who are beginning their fasting. The moon was seen last July 19 night. Christians also fast. Fasting strengthens the individual spiritually because it means deliberately denying oneself kofngoming and reducing food and drink intake. Those going to medina for the 2012, Hadj will have to pay 1.8 million FCFA and to go through Ethiopia Airways, not CAMAIRCO. What paradox. CAMAIR is clearly another humpty dumpy. Can we say the same about the indomitable lions of the Cameroon Audio Visual Organ? At least for its commercial service, CMCA which has gone bankrupt. The announcement was made at its 38^th extraordinary session which held or 12 hours, Issa Tchiroma, Board Chairman sang its dimitis - he pronounced CMCA clinically dead. It was an outfit created for people to chop. CMCA is dead as Sam Mbende’s CMC which culture minister, The Tutu woman had dissolved. Anybody who thinks he can fight and win a war against the government is wasting his time. You may win a battle as Sam Mbende did against Tutu Muna, but she has used executive powers to triumph. A house divided against itself cannot stand. I am talking here about the North West Fons Union. You know of the long standing imbroglio between Ntumfor and Fon Chafah. Fon Chafah has extended an olive branch to Ntumfor. But who is there to reconcile them? Only credible North West elite like El Hadj Lawan Bako, Alhadji Baba Danpullo, Ntumkwifon Simon Nkwenti, Cardinal Tumi and PCC Moderator, the Right Reverend Dr. Festus Asana. Fellow fons like the Big Five fons can while we are waiting for the peace makers North West to put on their mediation caps, let us turn to something more preoccupying - the problem of unemployment. Cameroonians think they can eat their cocoyams and have it when the regime announced the recruitment of 25.000 youths, Cameroonians didn’t read the handwriting. Those who were not recruited thought they would enter the public service through the routine concours. Where are the concours today? There is even no gombo to pay those 25.000. I pity the directors of ENS, ENSET, CUSS, Polytech. But who even cares about these schools? Hello to Professor Edokat. Thanks to your able leadership, UBa is waxing strong, unlike UB which is yet to recover after the chaotic leadership of Titanji.

Farewell Fidelis Chwenko, SCNC SG. You lived a purposeful life and died at 64 having never been ill even once. This means God loved you. Southern Cameroonians love you too, reason you merit a state funeral - raising of the Southern Cameroons flag, singing of the national anthem and draping your coffin in the Southern Cameroon colours of white and blue. Adieu too, Dr Linus Asong, prolific writer humourist and teacher of ENS UBa. He was indeed gifted and it is no surprise he belongs to the 99 sense clan whose indigenes can only sell cocks and not hens to strangers. You understand the logic. Hens would lay eggs and you would derive profit. You can only kill and eat the cocks. Farewell. A long farewell to the mum of Bochong Francis Nkwain. She died at 100 years. Before then, still cooking fufu corn (fufu corn or abain) for her son. Her funeral was a crowd puller; a clear proof of Bochong’s popularity. Thank God the eloquent Bochong didn’t take advantage of the mammoth crowd to launch campaigns for “C” as once did commandant Kissamba Nguo Woungly Massaga during his father’s funeral. Bochong is too wise a man and a diplomat to spoil his mother’s funeral like the proverbial lizard. Talking about diplomacy. Nothing fails like negotiations and calls for peace in the heat of a bloody war in which non of the parties is too angry to listen. That is the failure experienced by Kofi Annan, former UN scribe. His mission ended on Friday after Russia and China voted for the third time a UN resolution on Syria. Kofi Annan and his 300 member UN team are left with no option than to quit Syria. Britain and France have expressed indignation with the behaviour of Russia and China. But these Oyibos are hypocrites. If they had interests in Syria as they had in Libya, they would have intervened even from behind the scenes by supplying arms to the free Syrian army. But God is on the side of the freedom fighters. Despite their open support for the tyrants president Assad, the rebels are determined and are succeeding. The fact that they were able to kill four top officials of the Assad regime, including his brother-in-law and defence minister proves they have successfully infiltrated Assad’s inner circle. We shouldn’t be surprised any time from now to hear Assad himself has been assassinated. So let Kofi Annan and Ban-ki-Moon continue meeting Russian President Vladimir and the Chinese leader. The great question of the day in Syria will not be settled by UN resolutions, but by blood and iron. And trust Arabs. Once they have told their leader ‘you must go’ there is absolutely nothing you can do except eliminate all of them. It happened in Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, Libya.

Great Libya. At last your sons and daughters have embraced democracy in its pure form. The final results of parliamentary elections are out. The first of its kind in 50 years. The National Forces Alliance led by ex-interim PM Mamoud Jibril won 39 seats and the Moslem Brotherhood only 17 seats. This is a stern warning to Islamic extremists that the majority of Libyans are not interested in Sharia law or any form of Islamic fundamentalism. The Libyan election commission said there was 62% participation which makes the election not only legitimate, but also legal. There were also 120 independent candidates. This places Libya decades ahead of Cameroon where independent candidacy is still a pipe-dream. I forgot to include in my list of the faithful departed, Ahmed Souleymane, former spy of ousted Egyptian leader, Hosni Mubarak. I hate spies because they breathe down people’s necks. They cause the deaths or downfall of unsuspecting people. But then when spies the way of all flesh, we can’t help saying ‘adieu’ to them. Therefore Adieu Ahmed Souleymane who died in a yankee hospital at 76. Last week he was sent back to jail from hospital where he had been placed under intense medical care. It was predicted accurately that he wouldn’t survive. He had tried but failed to run for president. I don’t know if that was the cause of the heart attack that killed him or it only contributed.

Country people, I sympathize with people who struggle to stay alive, but are taken away by the cold hand of death, not people who deliberately engage on risky behaviour. I am talking here about Lagosians who construct houses on stilts in the Lagoon. That is why I agree with the governor of Lagos state, Nigeria who recently demolished such illegally constructed homes and saved thousands from inevitable death. Everybody must not live in town. The villages have enough space for everybody. The lagoon dwellers are not different from those who dwell in slums at Briquitterie and other slumps in Yaounde and Douala. Listen to these scums of the earth boasting: “I live in Yaounde, I live in Douala” without stating that they live in areas where their front door faces the toilets of their neighbours and filthy water and faeces abound everywhere.

Long live Nelson Mandela. Who could believe that at 94 you could still be alive? You are the greatest man in the world in terms of achievement. No doubt the strongest in arms Obama admires you for your humility. Even your ex-wife, Winnie, still respects you just as your present, Gracia. That is why they flanked you at your birthday ceremony. The Mandela birthday committee dedicated 67 minutes to communal labour to commemorate the 67 days you spent in public life including that in prison. South Africa is a nation of great men or women. Congrats once more Nkosa Zuma, estranged wife of Jacob Zuma who is the new AU chairperson after beating Jean Ping, a frog. This shows how advanced Africa is on gender issues. A kofngom as AU chair is indeed a feat. While the African continent is advancing in terms of accommodating dissenting views, the Middle East remains the bastion of intolerance. From all indications, a bomb blast that killed and wounded several Israelite tourists in Bulgaria has the hidden hand of Iran as indicated by Ehud Barrack defence minister and PM Netanyahu. Iran has vowed to wipe Israel from the map of the Middle East. This is one reason it has constructed a nuclear plant. I love Israelites even though they killed Christ. At least, they helped Christ fulfill their mission. But what I hate them for is their not embracing Christianity. But I love their democracy. No imposing of views on anybody. That is why there general election whenever there is political stalemate like the threat by the radical Kadima party to pull out of the coalition with PM Netanyahu’s party. But what puzzles me is why people don’t get tired of the same faces in politics. Every day we hear of Netanyahu, Ehud Barrack, Vladimir Putin. The evil that men do lives after them. Former Chadian leader, Hissene Habre will face trial at last for crimes committed against his people while in office. The international court of justice ruled that he be extradited from Senegal and face trial in Belgium, Chad or at The Hague. But Senegalese president, Macky Sall has objected, saying he should face trial in Senegal. But in my opinion, Hissene Habre should be tried in Chad where he committed the crimes. Justice should not only done, but seen to have been done. It should also serve as a warning to idryss Derby, another tyrant. If Charles Taylor or any of the warlords in Congo were tried and sentenced where they committed the crimes the impact would have been different.

Good news all those who live in constant dread of HIV/AIDS. Travada, a blue pill manufactured by the Yankees has been recommended as a preventive. It has been sued since 2004. But scientists say it does not replace condoms. But why should we bother ourselves with a drug that costs 10.000 euros a year when Anti-Retrovirals (although with all the obnoxious side effects) are for free. Changes are sometimes uncalled for but we find ourselves making them. At least, for the sake of novelty. That is probably whey the BBC is carrying out several reforms at a time. Network Africa, is being replaced by ‘Outlook’. The situation is the reverse in Cameroon. Instead of change, FM stations could go off the air in Yaounde. In Abakwa FM stations are facing several transmission problems. I am sure Tchiroma is happy now. Remember he took government grant meant for the struggling Cameroon and gave to BBC whose budget is equal to that of Cameroon. Talk about taking corn meant for domestic birds and throwing to bush fowls. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. You have heard. Hence our sports gist G4S, a renowned international company has not been able to meet up with a deal to provive 10.000 security guard for the London Olympics, obliging Britain to fill the gap with military men and police. The games come up this week. Concerning the London Olympics, there is already a scandal at the level of Cameroon. 33 athletes are going but up to 80 officials. Why more officials than players? Just to chop state gombo. Francoise Mbango, the triple jump star who made Cameroon proud will not be in London. She took advantage of her short term popularity to neutralize as a French citizen but started by getting pregnant. She did not even qualify at the preliminaries. Serve her right. Butterfly who thinks herself a bird. And now the lions with their usual wahala. Coach Denis Lavagne wants Eto’o replaced as indomitable lions captain. But does Eto’o care? He is already a big businessman. He owns jets which he gives out on hire. He will soon be launching ‘Set mobile” a new mobile telephone company and the fourth in Cameroon after MTN, Orange and Camtel. We wish him well. But take heart, Microsoft ware which I almost forgot. Microsoft recently announced a loss of over 5 million dollars the first in its 26 years existence. Five years ago, it spend 5 billion dollars on adverts. Imagine just one million dollar in your town crier’s pockets. They would be bulging like those of John Ntarinkon who pockets party funds including state subventions the amounts Popoul gave him when he (John Ntarinkon) lost his kofngom and when Popoul visited Abakwa.