Town Crier 322

Country people,

Wonders they say shall never end. Don’t ask me why I am beginning by sounding an alarm. You will soon understand. But please don’t quote me that I said a certain mayor stormed the palace. I mean the palace of a politician not a fon in Abakwa and contracted a marriage between the old man and an elder of PC Musang who was suspended. I hear it was in the absence of John Ntarinkon. I hear our man had since snatched her from her husband. A church elder for that matter who takes the front seat, has read the Ten Commandments several times and knows he should not desire his neighbour’s wife. I am done with this topic. Please, don’t ask me any question. My next preoccupation is the victims of flood in the Grand North and Popoul’s paltry sum as aid. 30 million FCFA; can that amount build and furnish a modern house? Here we are talking of thousands of people rendered homeless. Small as it is, I won’t be surprised if only a small portion gets to the victims. The bulk of it will disappear into the pockets of unfilling state officials as was the case of the lake Nyos Gas Disaster of 1986. This is one reason why I can’t forget the plays of Bole Botake on the Lake Nyos disaster. “Lake God” and “The Survivors”. It is disheartening to note that money meant for sufferers should disappear into private pockets just like that. Now Popoul has rubbed pepper on a fresh wound by giving chicken feed to thousands of survivors. We don’t need to look far for the reason. They are not Beti. Popoul, very interesting character. Never tired of his brief sojourns abroad. This time, we expected it to be really brief and he should return with Mama Chantoux . But it is doubtful if he will. I hear Mama Chantoux is truly ill; a C woman quoted him as saying. Jeune Afrique, a spindoctoring magazine for Popoul in its latest edition says she was hospitalized in France and lives at Neuilly-Surseine.  That she later met Popoul in Geneva and returned to France. So all that talk about Popoul and Chantoux have parted ways is not true according to the magazine. Jeune Afrique recalls that she was seen in a train shuttling between France and Switzerland. It is almost certain Popoul will come back with Mama Chantoux. But when remains a puzzles. It is also doubtful if he will be at this year’s francophonie summit holding in Kinshasa from October 12-14. His absence will be no surprise given his tract record of absenteeism from international summits. I am sure he will dispatch Yang to represent him. Controversial Yang; when the Guardian Post published several months ago that he had tendered his resignation, it meant little or nothing to him. But he started shaking like a leaf in the wind when Epervier, a little known French language newspaper published the same story. When I saw him last week inaugurating the new bridge at Koro, Rene Sadi’s village in the Mbam et Kim division, he didn’t look his confident self. I hope Popoul does not take advantage of his confidence lacking conduct to nod his presidential head. Popoul too is no-bolder. He is being haunted by Lapiro’s latest album nailing him. Reason Lapiro and family have since disappeared. I hear Ndinga man is seeking asylum in Yankeeland because of the song which almost caused the banning of Canal+ for airing it. Popoul, I hear is not only grieved by Lapiro’s music. I hear he was very crossed on learning about Fon Doh’s death. I won’t be surprised if a state funeral is decreed for the fallen Kumbat leader. In Kumbat itself there in confusion. Many people are still to come to terms, with the fact that the lion is no more. BADO met last Saturday to discuss this unexpected development. Who succeeded Dingha, is the news. I am still awaiting who succeeds Fon Doh? Is the bigger question.

But I am taking a lot of valuable time talking about Fon Doh who is now resting in perfect peace, forgetting of the living who deserve our attention more. I am talking here about Ni Zachs. The section of Douala new bell prison which he and other VIP prisoners occupied collapsed. Etonde Ekotto, Siyam Siewe, Ngamo Hameni and Nguini Effa the other VIP prisoners now live at the chemist of the prison. The very existence of the VIP section reminds me of what I have read about heaven and hell. You must have heard of seraphims, cherubims, princes, dominions, thrones, archangels etc. altogether nine ranks of angels in heaven. The martyrs are closer to God than those who died in their beds like Fon Doh. There are 9 circles in Dante’s hell. Those who kofngomed too much while on earth are in a separate circle from embezzlers. Thos who kofngomed too much like that strumpet Rosaline O are punished to kofngom non-stop, that is without resting. The embezzlers are always dancing and the maggots from their rotten faces fall with the sweat generated by the heat. Satan is in the 9^th circle continuously turning around like a windmill. Please go and read Dante’s poem. The Divine Comedy especially the section called the inferno if you want more detail. From Dante’s hell we move to another hell this time on earth. It is called SED, the gendarmerie headquarters in Melen. As if to tell Popoul I am with you, nature caused severe flooding in the notoriously swampy area. Marafa, Yves Michel Fotso and Pa Titus Edzoa are detained here. Marafa can’t even run to his superstructure close by. There is nothing as painful as being in a very uncomfortably abode with one’s deluxe mansion close by. And to worsen matters, you are subjected to psychological torture. I am still talking of Marafa whose case with Fru Ndi since 2008 is soon coming up. Why resurrect it after such a long time? To embarrass him more and ridicule John Ntarinkon. The judiciary is taking no chances. It wants to use every opportunity to nail Marafa. Of course, we know the verdict on him and Yves Michel Fotso- life jail. The mind of the public has already been prepared. Unlike the case of Forjindam. If the verdict on Fotso and Marafa is not life jail, I will surrender my kofngom to you. As for Titus Edzoa, no illusions. The final verdict on his case comes up September 19. He won’t be freed. By no stretch of the imagination. Till Popoul quits, all those political prisoners clothed as embezzlers should forget about freedom.

Country people, sometimes I feel it is better to be dean than to live the lives of these fallen angels Ntumkwifon lies peacefully in his grave after a life of great achievements. His funeral was as great as that of such a hero should be. At least 5000 mourners were in attendance, including dignitaries. North West governor, SDOs, DOs and representatives of ministers Louis Bapes Bapes and the minister of Basic Education were represented. So too were GCE board registrar, Humphrey Ekema Monono, Peter Alange Abety. Interestingly, there was also John Ntarinkon who was dressed in white gandora and seated close to Nktumkwifon’s widow, Mary Lum. He sat as if he were her husband or even her father. But please, jokes aside, John Ntarinkon is un vieux capable. Don’t mistake him for a eunuch. He is superactive . I am sure you are aware of the scandal at PC Musang. But that was just a digression. I was genuinely impressed by the way tradition and Christianity functioned hand-in-hand at Ntumkwifon’s funeral. He was decorated posthumously with the ntumkwifon title and the church never objected. That is how tolerant and flexible the PCC is. This could not have happened in the Catholic Church. With the catholics there is a clear cut demarcation with tradition; although it has accepted incuturation the case of burials is different. In Bui for instance, you must write and sign while you are alive how you should be buried.

Rentrer scolaire. This is the period when Ntumkwifon worked hardest. The visit of the secretary of state for basic education in connection with school reopening would have been more exciting if Ntumkwifon were alive and active. Bernard Ndong Soumet was almost like an orphan at Abakwa with Ntumkwifon absent. Very little colour as he was ferried around town, to Presbyterian, Baptist, government, private primary schools, even champion, Mama Chantoux creation. PLEDGE owned by business magnate Tachang, took away the secretary of state’s breath. He was completely overwhelmed by the architecture. In fact, he didn’t believe such architecture was in Cameroon. Before we gist you of what is happening beyond our borders, get this. Rev. Ncham Godwill is a veritable man of God. The splendor of his induction showed he is indeed a man of God. He was like a village man, but is endowed with the wisdom of King Solomon. Unlike his haughty predecessor, Rev Ndichafah, who shamelessly boycotted the occasion. Fortunately for him, the CBC is yet to have a frank no nonsense leader like Ntumfor Nico Halle. He would have been rebuked in the same manner that Nico Halle blamed Rev Aji Mvo who failed to come and hand over cheerfully to his successor. Rev Fai Michael. Ndichafah is a worldly wise man and a disgrace to the church. Chebonkeng Kalabutse, CBC president took the oath again as president. But the two; he and Rev Ncham should put their heads together to resolve the problem of the coastal Christians who feel marginalized by the CBC. So far so good for our domestic gist, now foreign.

Barrack Obama; brilliant speeches from him and Bill Clinton during the Democrats convention in Northen Carolina, yankee land. Obama not only accepted his nomination as the democratic candidate, but se his goals for the next four years, his tongue dropping manna. But Mit Romney, republican candidate sees no hope for the Yankees under Obama. In his campaigns, he has been lambasting the Obama administration saying high unemployment in is the result of mismanagement by the Obama system. Obama said in his keynote speech that solving America’s problem would take time, but Romeny gives the impression he could do it in four years. With 60 days left the excitement is increasing with each passing day. Michelle Obama, wife of the yankee leader is indefatigable in her campaign for her husband. But country people, I wonder what human beings see in this power. Even when people have enough gombo to chop they still want to stress themselves up. Many of you surely recall how young, smart and handsome Obama was before he became president. See how old, cranky and worn out he has become in just two years. Ben Ali, former Tunisian president should now be resting, although not in peace given that those still linked to his regime are still facing severe threats. Thousands of people in Tunisia recently demonstrated in Tunis calling for the extirpation of those lined to his regime. A clear illustration of the fact that the evil leaders do lives after their departure from power. This is particularly the case with killers. I have in mind those bloodthirsty murderers of 4 people during a sporting event in France which Francois Hollande and British sympathizers are bent on trapping. Sports is for leisure and entertainment. Those who murder others during sporting events are murdering peace and leisure. But the killings are not Hollande’s real headache. It is unemployment which is skyrocketing. 3 million unemployed persons, is a huge number in a supposedly advanced nation like France. In fact, it is the highest ever. With the decline some super powers are facing, I though some African countries would have the opportunity to emerge. I though of Nigeria, but above all, I thought of South Africa. But I have been discouraged by the recent events in Mandela’s country. The killing of 34 miners by the police takes us over 20 years back; I mean to the days of Apartheid. Julius Mulema, ousted ANC youth leader has been very critical of Jacob Zuma’s government because of the manner it handled the miners’ strike action. He recently defended the miners on BBC and blamed Jacob Zuma for doing nothing to bridge the gap between the rich and the poor. All miners arrested and detained on charges of orchestrating the murder of their colleagues have been released on bail. The fact that Julius Mulema can openly nail Jacob Zuma and nothing is done to him is enormous credit for apartheid South Africa. It is still this freedom of expression which Equador is defending by refusing to handover wikileaks founder, Julien Assange. I love freedom of expression. It is because Cameroonians enjoy an infinitely great deal of it that Popoul is still in power. Some of you have obviously heard about the ‘talking cure’ of Sigmund Freud. When people are allowed to speak their minds, they let out pent up emotions. But no matter how much freedom a ruler gives once he is in power for 20 years, he is a dictator even if he wins free and fair elections. I have in mind  Angolan president, Eduardo dos Santos who recently won that country’s presidential election beating UNITA of late Jonas Savimbi by 74%. UNITA scored 17.8%. I admire Dr Savimbi with his long while beard. But the imperialists teleguideing his assassination simply because he nursed communist ideas.

Zimbabwe is a sad case. That is why I don’t sympathize with the finance minister, Tinda Bitty who lamented recently that his government is not reaping from diamond sales. Zimbabwe has almost half a billion US dollars worth of diamond. I love the Canadian government for closing its embassy in Iran in protest against that country’s support for President Assad of Syria. But that is not enough. Canada ought to back the free Syrian army to knock out Assad. As much as I hate dictators, I detest homosexuals. I see nothing wrong with the statement of the archbishop of Canterbury that a president would be appointed so as to give the archbishop enough time to concentrate on internal issues, but I have no words of praise for him for regretting that enough has not been done to curb homosexuality in the Anglican Church. Many of you remember the consecration of an openly gay Anglican bishop, one Robinson. I used to think the English man was decent. I admire David Cameron whose name resembles that of my country. I see nothing wrong with him reshuffling his cabinet. Afterall, the law of change is the law of God. But I am vexed that he has never addressed the homosexual issue or condemned it with the vehemence it deserves.

I love courageous men. I love Prince Harry heir to the British throne, a soldier who has again been deployed to death trap Afghanistan. The first time news leaked that he had gone there, he was immediately withdrawn for fear he could be kidnapped. Congrats Prince Harry for escaping the paparazzi. Lady Diana’s death was a bitter lesson for royal figures. Ethiopia, country of Haille Selasie Ras Tafari. You have taught the world how to mourn your dead just as Cameroonians mourned Ntumkwifon. I am talking about the funeral of the performing PM, Menes Zenawi in Addis Ababa. Popoul was also absent from the funeral of Ghanaian leader John Atta Mills and that of the president of Malawi. Was it because of Chantoux absence? I doubt. Popoul is a bold man when handling his political opponents, but shy.

Country people, I will conclude with sports as usual, but begin with this question. What is PM Yang’s interest in football that he had to block Rigobert Song from joining the lion’s squad to Cape Verde for the African nations cup preliminaries? Song’s presence is a moral booster to the players, being a player himself. But we often find a bogus delegation like that which accompanied the underachieving athletes to this year’s Olympic games in London. Recall how people ferried their kofngoms to the world cup in South Africa disguised as dance groups. Sports minister met the lions a day before the match. Ask me why. To chop his own gombo. Adoum Garoua should thank his stars that Popoul may not be contemplating a cabinet shake up now especially as elections (municipal and parliamentary) are coming up in2013. The lion man would have nodded his head and he would come tumbling down like Lucifer formerly the king of angles. Congrats, Nocholas Nkoulou following your appointment as captain after Eto’o threw in the towel. People like Eto’o should even go, rest and enjoy his money. After all, he was becoming a liability to the lions. Congrats too, Carlos Kameni and Alexander Song, appointed assistant captains of htelions. Sepp Joseph Blatter should have since copied Eto’o’s example after the controversy that followed his election at the helm of FIFA. He says he will not seek re-election in 2015 when he will be 79. Could this be a black man’s Issa Hayatou’s chance? Let’s keep our fingers crossed.